Five Unrealistic E3 Predictions

The Electronic Entertainment Expo, or E3, approaches, and with it comes a slew of predictions on game sites and podcasts. Since there are so many leaks before the show every year, this can get pretty dry. Everyone's elaborate guessing games are either disproved mere days later, or forgotten; and no one ever manages to guess the real surprises -- I mean, did anyone guess Metroid: Other M or Left 4 Dead 2 last year?

So rather than go through the whole rigmarole of an E3 predictions post, I figured I would highlight exactly what we are sure to not see at this year's Expo. After all, it's easier to predict what won't happen than it is predicting what will. You have a much better chance of success. So here are five things that I am fairly confident won't be amongst the 2010 E3 announcements. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Nintendo Announces a Wii Star Fox

I'm going to put this on the list because I'm sick of being disappointed. I need to let go. A Wii Star Fox that goes back to the SNES/N64 style of Star Fox games would be so obvious that Nintendo will probably never do it. If they wanted to get buzz behind their conference again like they did with Metroid: Other M, then this would be a game to do it, but I imagine they are just going to coast on a new Zelda this year. I need to let go of my dream for a Wii Star Fox like all those mislead-by-nostalgia Kid Icarus fans need to.

Microsoft Announces an Xbox Portable

Despite countless cool looking mock-ups and rumors, Microsoft would be crazy to jump into the handheld market right now. They are a company that isn't happy in the middle of the pack and always strive to dominate, so unless they were ready to throw everything behind a handheld right now, they just wouldn't put it out. This E3 will be all about Natal for them, and with the 3DS no doubt being a focus of Nintendo's conference, they wouldn't risk falling behind. And Sony is probably going to do something with PSP this year, right? A PSP2 or a Go price drop? Something?

Nintendo Mentions the Virtual Console... at all

Does Nintendo even remember that Virtual Console exists? I think the guy that they put in charge of pulling the new game lever has Alzheimer's and only remembers to pull it on his "good days". Most of his time he stumbles around not sure of who he is, but then miraculously he has a good day, realizes he hasn't pulled the lever in the last three weeks, and decides to give us Kirby Super Star. Since they already ignore the VC, and they're sure to be spending an ample amount of time on the 3DS, new Zelda, and, uh... the Black Wii maybe, it's pretty obvious we won't be hearing much about new Virtual Console releases.

People Come Away Excited about Natal

Gamers are easily skeptical and quick with the snarky quips, and with such a touchy subject as motion controls, Microsoft has to get everything just right. There is no way that the tech, price, and games will all hit just perfect enough to make the jaded journalists that walk out of that conference act like little kids who were just told they could have a puppy. We're already hearing rumors that there's going to be $150 price tag on that bad boy, which could easily be the death blow alone. It just isn't feasible for Microsoft to not screw up even one crucial detail that sets gamers off in a rage.

People Come Away Excited about Move

You can basically say the exact same thing I just said about Natal about Move as well. I'm not entirely sure why Sony is worrying about trying to launch this peripheral when they're bringing up the rear in sales and have a struggling handheld they need to give a kick in the ass. But, like I said with Natal, Sony would have to get everything just right to not be met with complete indifference. Face it, that just isn't going to happen.