Connecting with Games: The Simpsons Arcade Trip

Video games get a lot of flack sometimes. They're thought to create anti-social, overweight, nerds who never leave their parent's basements. But I've had countless positive, game-related experiences, so I thought I'd start sharing them -- starting with the long prophesied conquering of The Simpsons Arcade, the bane of a friend and I's childhood.

The Simpsons was one of more than a handful of licenses that Konami slapped into their beat-'em-up formula back in 90s. The thing is, most of these games were released in arcades in the beginning of the decade. By the time my friend and I -- both born in 1985 -- were old enough to care about The Simpsons and video games, there weren't many places for us to play it... except the masochistic PC port.

Konami clearly didn't give a flying hoot about the PC port of the game and just slapped it together. How do you handle a game that is made to keep you continuously feeding quarters when it is now on a quarter-less computer? Eh, slap three lives on there and call it good. Two innocent little kids, in a world without the Internet to provide them with cheat codes, doomed to endlessly play the first level of a game over and over.

Needless to say, we never beat that game, but a few weeks ago the answer finally came. I was dragged to a bowling alley/restaurant the next town over for a Mother's Day buffet. Off in the distance I spotted an arcade room, and like any good gamer, I went to see what they had. Like a beacon of light, a Simpsons cabinet emanated from between a Cabela's Big Buck Hunter and Golden Tee machine. I knew what must be done.

Jeez, Homer is getting a face-full, huh?

We made plans and when the day came we were prepared. I got a 20 dollar bill out of the ATM and fed it into the quarter machine at the car wash across the street. I didn't want to risk there not being a change machine at the bowling alley, as I hadn't paid enough attention to notice. We departed toward our destiny.

We had done this before, for a Ninja Turtles arcade game, but there was only one character that worked and it broke after a few levels in. Upon plunking 3 quarters into Lisa and getting no response from the game, my friend determined she was out of the picture. I chose Homer and quickly realized he wasn't fond of walking right anymore. We were worried this trip was doomed, but Bart and Marge worked fine, so we pressed on.

What followed was 45 minutes of dropping in quarters and getting strange looks from passing employees -- We'd turned off the lights in the arcade room, as anyone with half a brain would know that's what you do so as to prevent glare off the screens. Still, it probably made us look a little curious, but it was all worth it. We had finally beaten the game, and had a blast mocking the ridiculous plot surrounding it (Why the hell would Mr. Burns need to steal a diamond?).

My friend and I don't get together as much anymore, given that life is much more complicated when you're an adult, but that night I felt like we were kids again. We weren't some losery looking 24 year olds in a bowling alley, we were 10 years old again, sitting in front of his caveman-esque computer. The only difference was that now we could finally beat the game fair and square. Robot Suit Burns ain't got nuthin' on us!